Dylan Wilson, the unofficial class clown

Dylan Wilson

CLAY TURNER – Hoof Prints Staff

Mrs. Cornish saunters around the classroom handing out progress reports. Dylan Wilson waits patiently watching everyone’s cringing faces as they are each handed their own brand of disappointment. She gets closer and closer to him until finally, she hovers over his desk and drops his lazily in front of him. He looks down and instant disappointment sets in. F. His first ever.

What to do, what to do…Then an idea sparks in his mind, “I have to change it.” So, he brandishes his black pen and draws a line over the grotesque F to make it a B. He is able to get past his mother with the altered grade, but when the progress report gets back to school, Mrs. Cornish isn’t fooled one bit. She lets Mr.Rose in on the trick and Dylan is caught in the act. Though his tricks aren’t completely fool-proof in the school system, he is still able to make even the direst situations interesting.

When you see the dark-headed, droopy-eyed kid strutting the halls with his black ensemble, you would hardly guess that he is the unofficial class clown for the sophomore class. Dylan Wilson, 15, has been drawing attention with not only his one-of-a-kind personality, but also with his natural ability to come up with comical speeches on the spot.

“I give my best speeches when they’re off the top of my head. I can’t give a good one if it’s been practiced,” Dylan said.

He expressed his love for comedy when he said Dane Cook, a professional comedian, would be one of his guests at his own fantasy dinner party.

“I just like his general version of comedy,” Dylan said, “He’ll just say something and then say it again and it’s funny.”

Other people at his fantasy dinner party included Steven Hawking, who observes and studies black holes and the solar system, Goku from Dragon Ball Z, and one of his favorite actors, Johnny Depp.

“I like the way he keeps his cool in movies,” Dylan said.

The last person invited to his party was neither famous nor was featured in an animated cartoon. It was his dad, Ray Wilson.

“He’s caring, he’s hardworking, and he’d be the one to ask all the smart questions during the party,” Dylan said.

Apart from having fantasy dinner parties with Captain Jack Sparrow himself, Dylan also enjoys playing videogames. Some of his favorites include Kingdom Hearts, God of War because of his fascination with Greek mythology, Mortal Combat, Rock Band and Guitar Hero. He also enjoys role-playing games in which you level up and are able to play with other online players.

He revealed that he not only finds amusement in the games on the screen, but also board games, too, and most importantly, chess. He said that when he was little, his mom and dad bought him a chess board after he found he had an interest in it. In just 30 minutes had he managed to learn it, and by an hour, he had mastered it.

“I can beat almost anyone,” Dylan said. He said the only other person that he knew could beat him was his Uncle Eddie. He is the only person Dylan knows of that can beat him in four moves.

So whether he’s beating Mortal Combat or jumping knights, Dylan Wilson always finds a way to make someone laugh with his contagiously funny personality. Hunter Martin, Dylan’s best friend, said that he somehow has the ability to come across as serious and comical at the same time.

“I could see him on stage as a comedian. He’s always telling jokes and laughing,” Martin said.